But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).

Part 2

In my last newsletter, I told of my airplane trip to Palm Springs, where I was exposed to at least three large doses of toxic fumes. Since returning from my trip, I have learned that there have been at least 1,000 other cases of reported chemical injuries on Alaska Airlines flights in the last ten years. A recent investigation has shown that many of the MD-80 jets have some type of leak occurring that allows fumes from the auxiliary engines to filter into the cabin through the air conditioning system. I’m convinced that was the situation in my case.

To pick up where I left off in Part I of this story, once my daughter and I arrived in Palm Springs the "fun" began. At around 9 p.m. on the evening of our arrival, I started experiencing seizures. It was one of the most frightening things that I have ever gone through, because I basically lost control of my body and mind during the seizures. My mind would feel "frozen" for a few minutes, and then my body would start shaking uncontrollably. The shaking would continue for an average of 10 – 20 minutes. In order to get the shaking to stop, I would go for a walk to help the toxins get out of my system. My mother who I was staying with in Palm Springs would go on a walk with me and I remember telling her, "Mom, this isn’t fair! I feel like a junkie going through withdrawals, but I’m not a junkie!" The chemicals took a toll on my emotions as well as my physical health. Initially, the seizures came about every four hours or so.

For the second time this year, God allowed one of my worst nightmares to come true. Prior to my trip to Palm Springs, I had heard of people with MCS who had experienced seizures as a result of chemical exposures. I was always terrified of that thought, and never thought I would be able to live through an experience like that. Once again, God showed me His faithfulness in carrying me through all my seizures. One of my favorite Scriptures is Isaiah 43:1-3 which says,

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

What a neat promise to hold onto during times of extreme difficulty!

I ended up staying in Palm Springs for ten days. It was by no means a vacation—it was simply "survival". I had extreme fatigue along with the seizures, so I spent the majority of my vacation in bed.

Once I returned home, I tried to get back into my normal routine, but my body wouldn’t let me; I was too sick and fatigued. As I was unable to do housework, cook meals, or carpool my kids to school, it soon became apparent that I needed help! What happened next blew my mind. Some ladies at my church became aware of my need, and before I knew it, I had a whole team of "ministering angels" who signed up to help with various needs, including driving my son to school, cooking meals, and just coming over to visit me in the morning hours. In my hour of need God displayed His marvelous love and faithfulness to me! He took care of me above and beyond what I ever could’ve dreamed of.  Philippians 4:19 says,

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

Indeed He did meet all my needs!

For several months after my chemical injury I went to my Environmental Specialist twice a week, once for neural therapy and once for a vitamin IV. To be totally candid, I am a real wimp when it comes to medical therapies such as these. There are often very unpleasant side effects from the therapies, and that is what I dread most. After my first IV treatment, I went home and experienced several seizures very close together. Because of this, the second week I went in for my IV, I was scared to death, dreading the possibility of more seizures. As I waited in my chair for the nurse to start my IV, I opened my Bible and started reading Psalm 41, a psalm I was unfamiliar with. Psalm 41:1-3 say this,

"Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble. The Lord will protect him and preserve his life;…The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness."

Wow! Those verses were right what I needed at the time. As a matter of fact, the verses were such a comfort to me that I wrote them down, and posted them on the wall of nearly every room of our house. During the following months, reading those verses often gave me the courage to go on. There were many days I felt helpless and hopeless, wondering if I would make it through this horrendous ordeal. I struggled with much fear and anxiety, and could relate to the apostle Paul who in 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 said,

"I think you ought to know, dear friends, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we learned not to rely on ourselves, but on God who can raise the dead. And he did deliver us from mortal danger. And we are confident that he will continue to deliver us."

As I write this, I am still recovering physically and psychologically from my chemical injury. I have grown a lot closer to God through this challenging situation. I realize how weak I am, but how strong He is! I am trusting Him to bring some good out of a seemingly bad situation. Romans 8:28 says,

" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and have been called according to his purpose."

Even when I knew I could not make it through the chemical injury in my own strength, Jesus carried me through. No matter what kind of mountain you may be facing in your life, never lose your hope! Jesus can also carry you through!

For our 11^th wedding anniversary, my husband and I decided to go on a 3-day getaway without our kids. We decided to stay local and be tourists in our own town. Our first stop was the Kirkland marina. We thought it might be fun to stop by the Starbucks there, and then take a romantic walk down by the marina. Well, I guess I had slipped into my denial mode, thinking I could actually be safe at a marina! As my husband and I walked hand in hand down toward the marina, the first toxic exposure I encountered was some benches that had just been freshly varnished with a toxic product. I quickly dropped my husband’s hand and made a mad dash to run by the benches as swiftly as was humanly possible. After walking a few more feet, we encountered some lovely diesel fumes drifting by from a nearby boat. Again, I dropped my husband’s hand and dashed on in front of him. After my husband caught up with me again, we walked a few more feet before encountering cigarette smoke. Dashing once again, we decided it was probably time to leave. So much for a romantic walk!

From there we went to the Bellevue Hyatt, and checked into our room. We then decided to go over to the Bellevue Jake’s for dinner. As we got out of our car in the parking garage, I was bombarded with car exhaust and dashed again. Then came another smoker in my path, and yes, I dashed again. My poor husband kept having to chase after me, and after about two hours into our getaway, my husband and I looked at each other and wondered if this trip was going to be worth it!

The following night was our anniversary, so we decided to go to Carillon Point’s Yarrow Bay Grill in hopes of having a wonderful, romantic dinner on the waterfront. Well, our waitress was a very nice person, but she happened to be wearing "solvents" that nights. (Otherwise known as perfume among the general population.) We were seated at a window table with a lovely view of Lake Washington. The table had a window that one could open or shut as desired. When the waitress would come to the table with her "solvents" on, I would quickly open the window, to let some fresh air in. But soon the diesel fumes would come in as they drifted up from the marina. So all night long I was battling solvents from inside the restaurant, and diesel from outside. At one point, the diesel fumes became so overwhelming I had to get up from my dinner and dash out the front door of the restaurant to try to get some fresh air. Talk about a romantic dinner!

The next morning we decided to order room service for breakfast. We figured this way we could avoid exhaust, smoke, and solvents. Well, in the middle of breakfast, I broke down in tears. This trip had accentuated the fact that with MCS, my life will never be the same again. I was mourning for the life I once had—romantic getaways with my husband where I could go from place to place safely, and actually enjoy myself. The reality of what has happened to my life hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband tried to console me and give me hope, but then he too broke into tears and we wept together, as we faced the reality, of how overwhelmingly challenging MCS has made our lives.

After breakfast, I just happened to turn in my Bible to a Psalm that comforted me. Psalm 137:1-2 says,

"By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. There on the poplars we hung our harps, for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy."

These verses were written by some people who had been taken captive from Jerusalem into Babylon, and they were mourning their past life in Jerusalem. I could relate to the mourning process, and it was comforting to know that others have mourned for how things used to be in their lives.

Our plans for our anniversary next year will probably be quite different from this year. A nice quiet dinner at home in our own safe environment sounds a lot more appealing than the "dashing tourist" that I was this year.

While at the Palm Springs airport in February, I encountered a sign outside the airport that said something like, "CAUTION: Certain persons may get cancer if exposed to certain building materials found in this airport." Obviously the best solution is to build safer buildings, but I felt it was at least a start for them to acknowledge that toxic chemicals can be harmful to people.

Also while in California, I heard a commentator on a radio station talking about the dangers of chemicals and pesticides, and how in the coming years, it will cost companies millions of dollars to compensate for all the damage done. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that people are starting to wake up and realize the havoc chemicals are causing to our world. I think California is ahead of us in this area, possibly because there is so much air pollution there that more people are sicker as a result of environmental contaminants.

Everyone with MCS at one time or another has probably encountered rejection or ridicule as a result of the illness, sometimes from complete strangers, and sometimes from family or friends. A couple months ago, I was outside my son’s school and a man in an asphalt truck was sitting there. I rolled down my window and asked when they would be paving, explaining to him that I become ill when exposed to asphalt. He looked at me and said, "Lady, you need a vacation!" Comments like that from a complete stranger always sting a little bit, but comments from close friends or family members can hurt much, much deeper.

I was relieved the other day as I was reading the Psalms, and realized many other people have also faced rejection and ridicule for various reasons. In Psalm 109:25, David says this,

Boy, could I relate to that! Having MCS seems to serve as a type of magnifying glass to the inner attitudes of people. Their "true colors" seem to come out when they discover I have this illness. I find out real quickly if people have a heart of love and compassion or a heart of pride and judgment. How do we handle rejection from those closest to us?

After being rejected by someone due to MCS, I have to admit my response has not always been the best. There have been times when I have secretly wished something bad would happen to the person rejecting me so they could know what it’s like to be in so much pain. I have felt so guilty for such feelings at times, and so it was refreshing to realize that even David, who was considered to be a man after God’s own heart often felt the same way toward his enemies. In Psalm 109: 1-10 he says this,

"O God, whom I praise, don’t stand silent and aloof while the wicked slander me and tell lies about me. They are all around me with hateful words, and they fight against me for no reason. I love them, but they try to destroy me—even as I am praying for them! They return evil for good, and hatred for my love. Arrange for an evil person to turn on him. Send an accuser to bring him to trial. When his case is called for judgment, let him be pronounced guilty. Count his prayers as sins. Let his years be few; let his position be given to someone else. May his children become fatherless, and may his wife become a widow."

Wow! David was ticked, and he wanted vengeance to be taken on his enemies. Later in the Psalm, he says this to God,

I am not condoning vengeful thoughts, but acknowledging that it is normal and human to have them. When those vengeful thoughts come, the Lord reminds me of Romans 12:19 which says,

"Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord."

Instead, I know God wants me to have a forgiving heart toward those who hurt me, and to pray for them. I usually pray that the Lord will give the person who hurt me a compassionate heart. It is not always easy to do, but I know if I hold bitterness toward someone I am the loser. I realize that people who treat those with MCS cruelly are simply displaying their inability to love. It is therefore, their problem, not ours.

God is our strength

Our source of hope.

He is always there to help us cope.

When things don’t go exactly right

It’s easy to quit and give up the fight.

But don’t give up hope

For He is near.

To Him we give our greatest fear.

Home